This is one of those blog posts that has been calling to me from behind a curtain of uncertainty. The pressing question all week has been, “What topic would resonate best at this time with our readers?” My first step was to look in my file of “blog post inspiration” where providentially I found, not only a wonderful gem to explore, but also one that has personal relevance for me at this time in my life.
I’ve always considered myself a confident and relatively fearless person. I left my career and put myself through law school. I’ve traveled the globe alone and with friends. I moved to London for a year, during which time I flew by myself to Cyprus in the Republic of Turkey. I got myself to the Eastern Mediterranean University of Northern Cyprus where I was the youngest speaker at The Second International Women’s Conference. In Russia I got myself on a bus alone to meet up with friends at Peterhoff Palace just outside of St. Petersburg. In Egypt, I rode a camel and climbed, or rather slid down the claustrophobic 4×4 foot shaft to reach the base of the inside of the world’s oldest pyramid.
So, why am I telling you this? It’s because I’ve come face to face with a dilemma that I suspect many of you may have faced in one way or another. As I’ve embarked on my most recent journey to discover a new place, possibly a new permanent home in a distant city, I’ve found myself second-guessing this choice, and withdrawing from my usual exploratory personality. So, to go from being an adventurer to not wanting to leave the house it takes a serious toll on one’s self-assurance. It just doesn’t seem possible that the pendulum has swung from fearless confidence to a complete lack thereof.
When I pulled from my files, the 9 Qualities of Truly Confident People it struck a major cord for me in this interim of transition. While the 9 Qualities are beneficial, and I recommend a read through them, the thought occurs to me that there is a need for a list for those who desire to get their confidence groove back. Basically, we must get out of our head and into our car and go. Here are five suggestions for the recovering of one’s confidence:
1. Find a mentor with whom you can share anything.
This will be someone who doesn’t judge and listens with an open heart. As you pour out your deepest thoughts, your own inner guidance will emerge with the answer you seek, especially if your mentor asks the right questions. Suddenly it all will tumble out of your own mouth, and in a flash of insight, you’ll know what to do.
2. Surround yourself with positive, like-minded people.
These are people who inspire and lift you, but also tell you the truth. They are loyal and have integrity. These are the kind of people that are on the same forward-thinking track as you and they understand the give and take of friendships. The proven truth is that we all become like the people we are around the most, so stop and look at those who are in your present company and ask yourself whether or not you want to be like them.
3. Take stock of your surroundings.
Is this where you really belong at this time? Are you progressing in this environment? Is it leading to your goals and your life’s purpose? Do your surroundings inspire you? If you need to move forward, your surroundings might be what are hindering your progress.
4. Ask yourself, “Will this matter in a few days, or a few months, or even six months from now?”
Can you see the end results you desire being accomplished from where you are right now? If not, you know it’s time to change direction. Albert Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Simply put, if nothing changes, nothing changes.
5. Strive to live life with no regrets.
I know that at this time in my life, if I do not test these “waters” with this potential of a permanent move, I always will wonder about what might have been. But more importantly, I will be ignoring the calling in my soul, no matter how uncertain it might seem. There is great power that comes with facing uncertainty and, regardless of the outcome, knowing that you will not have a regret sitting on your shoulders is well worth it.
If you have found yourself facing uncertain choices, or new possibilities, what helped you keep your balance? How did you keep fear at bay? How did you keep your courage to move forward? We welcome your ideas; for it is by sharing that we all can learn and grow.